zippers are such a cool invention
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
