true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
