sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
