you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
