If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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