About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
