I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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