Is it because I queefed?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
