my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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