Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize