honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
