she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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