Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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