I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
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