Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You left your phone here
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