you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
