whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
