I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
