Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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