Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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