Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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