p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
