What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
