this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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