Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
