well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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