I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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