It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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