you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
