she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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