i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
