ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
