I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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