He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
