no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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