Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
