I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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