Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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