When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We need to rekindle our bromance
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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