I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
