So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
