I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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