omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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