So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize