SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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