...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
