that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
