The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
