Soap is not a condiment
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
