his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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