Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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