Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
