New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
