dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
