Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
All the doctor said was why
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
