I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
