if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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