I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
