He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
