did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
