yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
